Jesus’ gathering

This comes from the Babylon Bee, a site that looks at the humor in almost all situations. My post is not meant to be a statement about the current situation, but the hope we have in Jesus for the future.

Jesus Still Planning To Assemble Great Multitude Of Every Tribe, Tongue, And Nation Despite Ban On Large Gatherings

Jesus Christ has come under criticism from progressives for planning to assemble a great multitude of every tribe, tongue, and nation in defiance of government bans on large gatherings.

According to sources, the Lord of all creation has no plans to cancel the gathering of the great multitude that no one can number, packed with people from all nations, standing before the throne and the Lamb, crying that salvation belongs to the Lord. Critics pointed out that this event could be considered a “super spreader,” since people from all over the world and all historical ages will be present. And Jesus has no plans to enforce social distancing, insiders claim.

“He’s not even enforcing a mask rule,” said one protester outside the gates of heaven. “It’s anti-science.”

“Well, he kinda invented science,” said Saint Peter. “And we don’t have viruses in here. There’s no death or disease, for those things, well, got sick and died.”

“But then how do you get people to vote for higher taxes or more government power if you don’t have crises  like a pandemic or climate change?” she asked, confused.

“Oh, Jesus just already has all the power. We don’t vote. It’s a monarchy. You don’t vote for kings.”

“That. Sounds. HORRIBLE,” she said.

“Oh, yeah, don’t worry; you’re not getting in. Though, sorry — Jesus rules in hell too. Not a lot of options in the afterlife.”

One thought on “Jesus’ gathering”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s